Quale rito funebre laico?

Nella loro forma tradizionale, i funerali cattolici lasciano spesso freddi i partecipanti e inappagati e delusi i familiari di chi non c’è più. Gli operatori funebri e i parroci spesso affermano di essere scandalizzati da quanto i presenti chiacchierino tra loro sottovoce, senza seguire la cerimonia.
Cosa è successo?
Soprattutto in aree urbane e secolarizzate, la fede nell’immortalità dell’anima è scemata, e spesso ai riti funebri ci sono persone che non frequentano la messa e non conoscono il rito (leggete il bel libro di Marco Marzano, Quel che resta dei cattolici, Feltrinelli 2012): il rito cattolico è consolante per chi ha fede nell’aldilà, mentre è vuoto e insensato per chi non crede.
Occorrono alternative. Deve essere accessibile a tutti la celebrazione di un rito laico, che metta al centro la vita del defunto e il suo lascito affettivo, culturale, etico. Musica, discorsi, silenzi, gesti sono gli ingredienti di questo rito personalizzato. Un po’ dappertutto in Italia stanno sorgendo sale del Commiato multiculturali, atte a ospitare funerali laici o di altre religioni.
Purtroppo lo spazio da solo non è sufficiente. Il rito funebre ha diverse funzioni: onorare il defunto, consolare i vivi, riaffermare che la vita della comunità continua nonostante la ferita inferta dalla morte. Per essere efficace, deve avere una struttura e un celebrante. Colpite dal dolore della perdita, spesso le famiglie faticano a organizzare un rito. E spesso il dolore, durante i funerali laici privi di rituale, viene aggravato da un’insopportabile afasia.
Come far capire alle amministrazioni pubbliche che è doveroso non lasciare la ritualità funebre in mano ai privati? Che deve esistere uno spazio comunale per il commiato laico e dei celebranti che lavorino per la municipalità? Se vogliamo far crescere il rispetto per ciò che è pubblico e recuperare il sentimento della cittadinanza attiva e della responsabilità civile, occorre anche esprimere un rimpianto collettivo per un cittadino che muore.

57 Risposte a " Quale rito funebre laico? "

  1. Paola scrive:

    Sarebbe finalmente qualcosa in cui mi riconosco! Non credo nei paramenti sacri e negli spargimenti d’incenso, ma non voglio che il patrimonio spirituale di chi muore vada perduto. E’ una ricchezza di cui non so e non voglio fare a meno.

  2. maria laura cattinari scrive:

    Sale del Commiato, per celebrazioni laiche, è vero vanno sorgendo, per fortuna, ma devo dire che, nella mia esperienza ho potuto presenziare a due sole e non son state celebrate nella Sala del Commiato allestita dal Comune all’interno del Cimitero monumentale della Città (Modena) ma all’interno di una struttura privata “Funeral Home Terra-Cielo” ed immagino con non piccolo dispendio, nel primo caso della famiglia del defunto e, nel secondo, delle Isituzioni poichè il defunto era un ex Consigliere Regionale. Quello che voglio dire è che le Sale del Commiato per i riti laici devono essere adeguate e sorgere in luoghi adeguati per poter essere fruite. Quanto ai “celebranti” pubblici non saprei, penso che non ce ne dovrebbe essere bisogno. Se oggi possiamo sembrare inadeguat* credo sia per la novità che tutto questo rappresenta, non siamo abituat* a metter insieme quelle poche ma significative parole di congedo e soprattutto di ricordo di chi ci ha lasciato. Ma quanto più significative sono e saranno queste frasi se, appunto, a pronunciarle non sarà un dipendente comunale ma bensì un amico, una figlia, un parente, un compagno di lavoro, di partito ecc. ecc…

  3. Sandro Milano scrive:

    E’ vera,in assoluto,la necessita’ di un rito laico. Tutti gli stufi,come me,degli incensi,delle vuote e ripetute parole di uno stanco sacerdote,che spesso non ha neppure ben presente chi fosse il defunto,sentono l’esigenza di qualcosa di diverso. Partendo da ciò proverò,di seguito,a dire come vorrei fosse il mio funerale. Approfittando di questo spazio,prezioso,ciascuno di noi dovrebbe fare altrettanto;lasceremo ai “professionisti del settore” il compito di tradurre i nostri desideri in una sorte di codice estensibile ad altri. In primo luogo vorrei uno spazio che non sia la solita chiesa o altro luogo di culto. Poi vorrei che a salutarmi ci fossero solo le persone per le quali ho significato qualcosa,(a costo di trovarmi solo soletto…!) . Vorrei che uno di loro,o al massimo due,dicessero poche parole,per ricordarmi con i miei pregi ma anche qualche difettuccio,si sa che nessuno e’ perfetto! E vorrei che ponessero l’accento su quello che di buono,magari,ho fatto/lasciato/insegnato. Vorrei anche che la situazione non fosse cupa o triste,ma il più possibile serena. Magari una tavola con cibo e bevande. Insomma,più una festa per salutare un amico che parte che non una di quelle cose tristi,che tutti non vedono l’ora che sia finita!!!

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  5. anna tavella scrive:

    E’ vero, chiunque abbia partecipato a un funerale di persone non credenti sa quanto sia urgente ritrovare forme di ritualità che abbiano un senso al di là dell’orientamento religioso. Uno spazio comunale – accessibile a tutti – sarebbe importante, mi lascia perplessa la proposta di celebranti munucipali. I nostri percorsi in vita, tanto più oggi, mostrano che non sempre si può identificare ciò che è o è realizzato dall’attore pubblico con ciò che a che fare con il “bene comune”. Credo che sia questo bene da ricostruire, prima di pensare ad un rito officato da messi comunali, che potrebbe risultare vuoto quanto quello di un religioso per un’assemblea di non credenti. Certo, in assenza di una tradizione e di un’offerta riconosciuta come universale, c’è il rischio di una ritualità do-it-yourself e non mi stupisce se già c’è chi vi vede un mercato e inventa una casa per funerali (“Funeral Home” … il nome americano, ovviamente!). Ma forse occorre proprio cominciare da basso e cercare di aprire la discussione sulla nostra morte e sui riti che la potrebbero accompagnare. Questo blog è già un bello spazio di discussione, grazie!

    • sipuodiremorte scrive:

      Non sono certa neanche io che il funzionario comunale sia la cosa migliore (anche se per i matrimoni civili funziona), e tuttavia è certo che dovrebbe essere adeguatamente formato. L’ importante, ora, è rifletterci e parlarne. Grazie, Anna.

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